Today is a particularly exciting day for me, and I want to share with you a piece of news that fills me with joy and marks a personal milestone: the launch of my first book, the novel «Pull Me Out of the Darkness». This project is the culmination of a long path, a distillation of experiences, reflections, and a deep connection with the themes we explore together in this space.
From Personal Testimony to Novel Plot
Many of you will remember the podcast episodes where I shared fragments of my personal story. These narratives, which are different from the thematic episodes, arose from very deep experiences: from my experiences in Santa Marta before my immersion in spirituality, through my transformative encounters with yagé (ayahuasca), the path walked with the indigenous Muisca traditions of the Cundinamarca-Boyacá highlands, and the challenges related to my mental health, such as that intense anxiety crisis I went through. These experiences, which occurred mainly between 2009 and 2015, were the seed.
After a process of introspection and healing, which included everything from traditional psychiatry and psychology to meditation, I began to write these chapters of my life, a process that culminated around 2024. Initially, I published this autobiographic manuscript on Amazon, but I felt that, although personal and significant to me, perhaps it was not of the general interest that a novel could arouse.
The Push Toward Fiction
It was then that I sought the advice of an expert, the renowned Colombian writer Héctor Forero. His perspective was key: he suggested transforming my personal story into a work of fiction. This would allow me to take the essence of my experiences, but with the creative freedom to build a more universal narrative, with characters and plots that could explore the themes in a deeper and more archetypal way, without the limitations of biographical reality. Although I consider my life extraordinary because of the moments and people I knew – that «second decade of the 60s» that I feel we lived in Colombia with the hope of peace and the expansion of consciousness, the rise of esotericism around 2012, and the ancestral resignification Muisca movement –, fiction allows a more defined storyline and characters with more extreme motivations, which enriches the reader's experience.
«Pull Me Out of the Darkness» Is Born
So, I took those autobiographic chapters as a base and began to weave the story of Samuel Jiménez. He is a character who, although nourished by my own experiences with yagé, tobacco, and indigenism, faces his own demons – literally and metaphorically –. In the novel, Samuel struggles against a dark entity that seeks to take control of his life, trying to exorcise it through enteogenic practices. His journey leads him to become unexpectedly involved in Colombia's peace process between the government and the FARC, as a spiritual support, opening the door to esoteric dynamics in the world of politics, something that is not alien to reality.
The Deep Meaning of «Darkness»
The title, «Pull Me Out of the Darkness», is a plea, a cry for help that resonates at multiple levels. On the one hand, it represents the character's struggle against that entity. But, more broadly, it symbolizes those forgotten or ignored parts of ourselves that long to live, to express themselves, and to be freed. It does not refer solely to evil, but to forgetfulness, to the part of our psyche that we ignore and that wants to come to light: that artistic career we did not follow, that passion we abandoned. I have tried to create multidimensional characters, where the «bad» ones are not purely bad nor the «good» ones infallible, reflecting the complexity of the human being.
A Personal Challenge and a Tribute to Fiction
Writing this novel was a fascinating personal challenge. Although I am not a voracious reader of fiction (I lean more toward non-fiction on psychology, neuroscience, astrophysics, social sciences, and I have written academic texts on technology and cybersecurity), I have always liked gripping literature. I took inspiration from psychological and conspiracy thrillers, such as those by Dan Brown (whose books I have almost all read) and in the way works like «Trojan Horse» by J.J. Benítez take known realities to explore more magical dimensions. To tackle the process, I read about screenwriting techniques, such as «Save the Cat», which gives the novel a certain cinematic language.
The creative process was like a return to childhood, to that capacity to imagine worlds and to live intensely through the characters. I dreamed of them, I laughed at their decisions, I felt their dilemmas. It was a meta-real experience, where by writing about the fascination of creating realities, I myself lived that fascination intensely.
Testimony, Reflection, and Subtle Denunciation
Beyond my personal journey, «Pull Me Out of the Darkness» seeks to be a testimony of a unique historical moment: that peak of hope for a change of consciousness and the rebirth of ancestral spirituality. It is also a window into the world of indigenous communities, showing both their beauty and wisdom (the respect for nature, the simplicity, the profound meaning of existence) and their complexities and challenges (state abandonment, the lack of opportunities, and certain internal vices).
Crucially, the novel tackles the delicate and often veiled theme of sects. Rarely does a sect identify itself as such; they usually present themselves as political groups, churches, support communities, or indigenist movements. What defines them is characteristics such as control, manipulation, deception, and especially manipulation through guilt and fear. This is not a specific accusation against individuals or specific groups that I knew (although some bases of the story are nourished by experiences in a particular movement I belonged to and by known cases in Colombia and Mexico of abuses by supposed «shamans»), but a general reflection on these dynamics.
«Pull Me Out of the Darkness: A shaman's struggle for his own soul» is already available on Amazon. I will leave you the link in case you wish to purchase it.:
The price is symbolic (around five dollars for the Kindle version), and soon there will be paperback and hardcover editions.
My main intention is not profit, but to share this story with the world. For that reason, if any of you, dear readers of Espiritualidad y Ciencia, wishes to read it and for some reason cannot purchase it, do not hesitate to contact me through my email: manuel@lucidsapiens.com. It will be an honor to send you a digital copy. Your comments and opinions will be immensely valuable to me. In addition, any contribution through the purchase of the book also helps cover the podcast hosting costs, which I greatly appreciate.
I hope to soon have the version translated into English for those who wish to share it in that language.
This book is a piece of my soul, an adventure I hope you enjoy and which, perhaps, invites you to reflect on your own lights and shadows.
Thank you for accompanying me on this exciting journey.