T4E3 - «Sabemos Parir», la llegada de Luciana

The storm gave way to a clear blue sky. Paula and I were more in love than ever and could finally focus on preparing for Luciana's arrival. Because of everything that had happened, I had missed a good part of the first three months of the pregnancy, and I did not want to waste another minute.

After returning from Medellín, we made another trip to the beautiful department of Boyacá, where the lagoon to which we had asked for our daughter's arrival was located, but this time our destinations were spas, restaurants and other tourist attractions. We talked for hours while enjoying the beautiful landscapes and delicious Boyacá desserts. We had rediscovered the spark in our relationship and looked like a couple of sweethearts at the start of their romance.

Back in Bogotá, we began planning the birth. To comply with health regulations, we went through the procedure to register Paula at the clinic where, given our place of residence, the delivery would have to take place. However, we both agreed that we did not want Luciana to be born in a hospital. The stories of grumpy nurses and obstetricians who prefer a short cesarean over a prolonged natural birth terrified us, and even though we no longer felt the same affinity with the Muiscas, we did want the birth to be a respected one, hopefully following some ancestral tradition, and definitely one in which I could be present.

The thing was that, unlike other countries where midwifery is regulated and well organized, Colombia had no official midwives' guild. I only knew of one, called ASOPARUPA, the Asociación de Parteras Unidas del Pacífico, but we would have had to travel to another city to see them.

It was providential that right around those days, while we were attending one of our favorite activities in Bogotá, the ECOYOGA festival at Parque de los Novios, I managed to briefly peek into a talk being given by an interesting character who went by the name of Ramiro Partera.

Ramiro was a pleasant, chubby young man with long, curly hair, dressed in an outfit very similar to the one I wore during my years with the Pueblo Nación Muisca Chibcha. In the talk, Ramiro referred to his role as “partera” and not “partero”, and when he spoke of his work group he said “nosotras”. He told us about his training in midwifery, which he had received from his maternal grandmother, and about how he strove to channel his feminine energy to carry out the work he felt he had incarnated in this world to do, and to pass on the teaching he gave to the doulas and midwifery apprentices who accompanied him.

As could not be otherwise, we took that “coincidence” as a sign that Ramiro would be the right person to bring our Luciana into the world. A few days later, Paula and I paid a visit to the headquarters of Mujeres Bachué, which is the name of the organization that Ramiro led and through which he provided his midwifery services.

There we were lucky enough to find Ramiro with some free time, which was not usual, because Ramiro attended births, postpartum care and quarantine closings almost every day, in addition to the talks he gave, the midwifery workshops and knowledge gatherings to which he was constantly invited.

That afternoon, Ramiro told us many things we found fascinating, for example that mothers, as their pregnancy progresses, keep raising their level of consciousness through a process that resembles the lunar phases. The first trimester would be like the new moon: you know a new being is gestating in your womb, but it is hard to feel it, and on many occasions you can even forget that you are pregnant.

Then comes the waxing moon, in which many changes occur, both external and internal. The most noticeable is the growth of the belly, but the woman's whole body experiences strange phenomena and her mind sudden mood swings. Then, approaching the moment of birth, the mother becomes a full moon, not only because of the shape of her swollen belly, but because she fills with wisdom and mystical states. Ramiro told us that, at that stage, mothers sometimes express sudden desires, strange decisions and other behaviors that he recommends observing and analyzing, because a high wisdom manifests through them from which many around her can benefit. Finally, the moment of birth and the postpartum period is the waning moon. According to Ramiro, children born under a full or waning moon have the spirit of elders.

After this beautiful description, Ramiro spoke to us about the moment of birth: the midwife said that very close to the moment of delivery, the woman chooses the place where she will give birth, a choice that sometimes seems arbitrary, but that corresponds to that superior wisdom granted by pregnancy. A decision-making capacity that, by the way, is usually snatched away when the mother is limited to the confinement of a small room or a hospital bed.

As an anecdote, he told us that he once attended a mother who spent about eight thousand dollars fixing up her room for the birth with imported fabrics, cameras, essences, an imported birthing chair and other items. While she was in labor she felt thirsty, so Ramiro accompanied her to the kitchen; she drank a little water when suddenly she looked at Ramiro intently and said: I am going to give birth here. Ramiro asked her: “What about your room? The cameras?” “Forget all that!” she replied. She had them bring an old, worn-out chair that had belonged to her grandfather, and there she sat down to give birth to her son.

Ramiro continued his talk, explaining to us that, during birth, the mother embodies different roles or spirits: the centered woman, the earth, the aggressive one, the fearful one, the decisive one, the strong one, the weak one, the passionate one, the girl, the adult, the grandmother. In almost every birth there is a moment when the mother says, “I can't go on.” The male midwife told us that this is the most beautiful moment of birth, because “I can't go on” is not an expression of surrender or abandonment but of profound humility. It is the moment when the woman stops struggling and becomes the Divine Mother herself.

According to Ramiro, when that moment arrives, almost all women have the same expression, the same attitude; as if they were all the same woman. A woman who holds all the millenary wisdom necessary to bring a Spirit to Earth to live the human experience. The woman giving birth knows exactly how she must move, how she must breathe. It is only a few minutes, but it is the time in which the miracle happens and we welcome a new life.

Then I asked Ramiro at what moment that Spirit takes possession of its new body, because I knew that, for some indigenous wisdom keepers like him and various indigenous communities, human life proper did not begin at conception but at some point close to birth. Ramiro answered me that when the mother begins to feel contractions, that is the moment when the Spirit knocks at the door. From there would begin the descent through the spiral of 4 cycles to enter this dimension.

The moment of the first breath would coincide with the Spirit's entry into its new body, and during the first 13 days of life, the newborn would be in a struggle to form its soul and keep other Spirits from sharing its new bodily temple. This is the reason why, for the Muiscas and other indigenous communities, the postpartum period is such a sacred and delicate time. The wisdom keepers recommend that, during that stage, visits to the newborn be limited to the strictly necessary, and no one who is not fully trusted should be allowed to hold the baby or breathe near its face.

One of the recommendations we received for Luciana's birth was that we should not allow anyone to say things to the baby like “she has so-and-so's face” or “may she have the same virtues as so-and-so”. According to Ramiro, that kind of thing, even when positive, can predispose the entire life of a person who is building her soul. Not to mention other afflictions that, according to popular customs, can affect a baby in the first stage of its life, such as the evil eye, when a wicked or malicious person looks the child in the eyes; el descuaje, which can happen if the baby is not properly swaddled; or the “ice of the dead”, which supposedly sickens children who come into contact with a corpse or with someone who has been near one.

After this first meeting, Paula and I were convinced that Ramiro was the right person to help Luciana come into life, but things did not seem to be destined that way. That very day we agreed that Ramiro would visit us at our house, to talk about the process, receive some instructions from him, meet the doulas who would work with us, and see the space where we planned the birth to take place, if all went well: our apartment in Bogotá.

The day of the appointment arrived and Ramiro confirmed that he was on his way to our house; then he contacted us again to let us know he had run into a setback and would be a little late, and finally he stopped answering our calls and messages. He never showed up for the appointment nor got in touch again to reschedule. We assumed he must have had some problem and would call the next day, but that never happened.

Annoyed, but above all disappointed, we concluded that Ramiro suffered from one of the most common flaws among the Muiscas we met: laxness in honoring acquired commitments. More than once I heard elders and wisdom keepers justify themselves by saying that they lived in “no time”, or that their agenda was not managed by them but by the Great Spirit, and that when it asked them to extend a task such as mambear, poporear or carry out some spiritual labor, they had to heed the call no matter who they left waiting or for how long.

The thing is, we did not hear from Ramiro again until a couple of months later, when I had a dispute with a couple of his pupils over a gymnastics set they sold me incomplete. After weeks of unsuccessfully trying to reach an agreement on how to resolve the matter, I warned them that I would make public on social media what I considered a scam, and they replied that, if I did, they would publish supposedly private information about us as a couple, including accusations of mistreatment and other fallacies.

I sent Ramiro screenshots of the conversation, because the unscrupulous midwifery apprentices communicated through the official Mujeres Bachué Facebook page, and Ramiro immediately disavowed them, apologized to me for the problem and even asked me how he could make amends. I felt the apology was enough and greatly appreciated the gesture of taking responsibility for a fault of his students.

Unfortunately, that earlier breach had broken our trust, because, although we still considered Ramiro a great wisdom keeper and midwife, we did not want to risk another failure to show up, perhaps at the most important moment for us. Our distrust might seem exaggerated, considering that missing one initial visit did not mean Ramiro would also fail to appear at the moment of birth.

But our apprehension would be confirmed a few months later when we received a call from a close friend, who was also pregnant and had decided to go ahead with Ramiro's accompaniment. She had begun to feel contractions and Ramiro was not answering her calls. We tried to reach him and also mutual acquaintances, but there was no response. We had made the right decision.

Our search for a midwife continued, and Paula quickly managed to find, thanks to recommendations from people we knew, just the person we needed. After an initial call, Paula set up a first appointment with Alejandra Montes, who at the time advertised her services as “Midwife of Lives”.

From the very first moment we felt empathy and trust with Alejandra. She was as spiritual and expert in her art as Ramiro, but it was also obvious that she was a very organized, methodical and disciplined woman. She had registration forms, a very well-organized website, testimonials from other couples, a very pleasant office and quite a bit of reference material created by herself, such as booklets, presentations and diagrams.

Well, all of that might seem secondary, but after our unfortunate experience with Ramiro, we knew that besides knowledge and good will, we wanted someone punctual and organized by our side. At the time, Alejandra was one of the best-known midwives in Bogotá; she gave lectures, trained other midwives, and her time was coveted by more and more couples who wanted to join the trend of the “respected birth”, which offered the opportunity to transform childbirth from a simple hospital procedure into an experience of love and family union, one of the most sublime moments in the lives of a mother, a father and a new being.

During the following months, we had frequent accompaniment sessions with Alejandra. Most of the time, the appointment was for mom and her baby in formation, but once in a while the parents were invited and we learned about the birth process and how to actively help during the delivery, the physical and emotional changes before, during and after childbirth, and much more important information for new families.

As we approached the expected due date, little Luciana grew heavier and heavier, and Paula, who had a rather slender build, began to have trouble sleeping, back pain and other discomforts well known to those who have already had the blessing of carrying a life in their womb. It was in this last third of the pregnancy that we were best able to recognize the value of having the accompaniment of midwives and doulas, who, with their advice, massages, guided exercises and attitude of service, helped Paula make the discomforts more bearable and be better prepared for the big day.

Five days before Luciana's birth, Alejandra and her doulas organized a beautiful ceremony at our house, in which our family and friends gave Luciana spiritual gifts to welcome her into life. While the doulas decorated Paula's belly with a mandala of flowers, the guests expressed teachings and advice they had gathered throughout their lives, which they wanted to symbolically give to Luciana so that they would accompany her throughout her life.

That day, Alejandra also gave us a long shopping list that we should complete before the week ended, to have everything ready the moment Luciana decided to arrive in our arms. The list included sweet herbs such as Chamomile, Mugwort, Sage, Mint and Elderberry, and bitter ones such as Rue, Thyme, Rosemary and Basil, which we had to hang on the walls to dry.

We would also need tobacco, some homeopathic drops called Rescue and other things I no longer remember. The thing is, during the following days our apartment looked like a beautiful herb stall at the local market and smelled delicious. The altar was set up with all our shamanic and esoteric symbols, and all that was left was to wait patiently for Luciana to let us know she was ready to arrive. As Alejandra taught us, in a respected birth it is the baby who chooses the day and hour of her birth and there is no need to induce or speed up anything. A few days later we would live one of the most intense and beautiful experiences of our life and we would realize that the craft of midwifery is one of the noblest and most selfless services one human being can offer another.

Ever since we found out Paula was pregnant, she and I began writing a diary together for Luciana, in which we told her some glimpses of what we were living while we waited for her arrival. However, I had gone a couple of months without writing anything because we had focused on our preparation for the birth. On April 30 I remembered that I had promised myself not to let the month end without writing a new entry in the baby's diary, but that day we decided to go out to dinner to have one last date, just the two of us, before having a baby with us, so I forgot to write and we went to sleep tired after a long day.

I managed to sleep a couple of hours and then Paula gently woke me up and told me:

“Honey, I think I'm feeling contractions”

I woke up like a spring and when I looked into her eyes I knew the moment had arrived. In any case, following Alejandra's instructions, I began timing the contractions and after a few of them, we concluded that, despite the hour, we should alert Alejandra. The birth had begun, but a couple of surprises, a few hours of sleep and a wonderful outcome still awaited us. While I waited for my presence to become useful in the process, I thought a good use of my time would be to fulfill my goal of continuing Luciana's diary, and so I did: I grabbed my computer and began writing the following accounts, as a chronicle of what we were living. I believe the best way to describe what happened during the following 22 hours is to share those accounts just as they were written that beautiful night:

First account: “Hello, little one of my heart, it is two in the morning on May 1, 2015. Here I am by your mommy's side, who for a couple of hours now has been feeling some characteristic pains that began a little before midnight and have become recurrent every 4, 5 or 10 minutes. They are called contractions and my job is to keep track of how often they happen, their duration and intensity. Your Mommy's job is to bear them and breathe very attentively through each contraction. Alejandra, the midwife who has been preparing us for your arrival, is traveling out of the city, but she has been keeping an eye on you two through her cell phone.” During our last birth preparation session, a couple of days earlier, Alejandra had led a beautiful private welcoming ceremony in which she wrapped us in copal incense and consecrated Paula to facilitate the birth, according to a tradition she learned from her Maya-lineage midwifery teacher. After the ceremony ended, she confessed that she was pressed to make a trip to the city of Armenia for family reasons and promised us she would be in Bogotá without fail on May 3. According to her beliefs, since that day would be a full moon, it was very likely that Luciana would arrive then. Luciana clearly had no intention of waiting for the lunar synchronicity and announced her arrival while Alejandra was with her family in another city.

Second account: “We keep waiting patiently; your mommy bearing the pain with great courage and me accompanying and supporting her. For now, few know that you have already decided to begin your arrival to live this human experience. We have been chatting with Alejandra, who has given us very good advice that has helped ease the process: keeping your mom hydrated, giving her chia water, an herbal infusion, a warm bath and something to eat have kept her calm. Two midwives Alejandra sent us just arrived...” Within minutes of giving Alejandra the news, we confirmed her admirable professional ethics. Not only did she immediately start looking for a ticket on the first flight that would bring her back to Bogotá, but she contacted two midwife friends of hers, whom we did not know but who, as Alejandra later told us, she knew she could completely trust to accompany us until she could get there. Even more, our midwife knew it was perfectly possible that Luciana would be born while she was in the air and that she would not manage to take part in the birth, but she bought her ticket anyway and began getting ready to head to the Armenia airport.

Third account: “With Alexandra and Andrea things are going much better; both you and your Mommy are calmer knowing that the little mother sent us such helpful wisdom keepers to accompany your arrival. Alexandra has explained the process to us and tells us in a very sweet way that you two are doing very well, that your little heart beats strongly and that you are both slowly reaching a state of relaxation that will calmly take you to the next stage of your birth. But so far we are just beginning...” Alexandra was an experienced midwife with the presence of a true ancestral grandmother. From the moment she greeted us with a hug at around four in the morning, we felt trust in her and were glad that providence had brought her to our house. Andrea, on the other hand, was a cheerful young woman who immediately set about preparing everything that would be needed during the following hours. Because of her youth, I thought she was a doula, a woman who accompanies gestation processes and supports the mother during childbirth. However, shortly after, I learned that Andrea was also a midwife and happened to be at Alexandra's house when she received Alejandra's call. Alexandra had told her conspiratorially: “We have the birth of a girl in Álamos, do you want to come with me?” Andrea immediately sat up and told her: “A birth? I wouldn't miss it for anything. Let's go!”

Fourth account: “It is time for the medicine; while you widen the path that will bring you to the womb of your Mother Gaia, your mother turns inward into the heartbeat of life to guide you to your new existence. With the guidance of the wisdom keepers I have prepared the medicine you need. With the strength of the armadillo, elementals of avocado, basil and other plants, the healing music of pincullo, rattle, harmonica and sounds of the earth, we are calling the spirit of birth and the conscious beings of this and other worlds who come with great joy to attend your birth. Now your mother, medicine woman, rests while we head toward the beginning of a new universe, a new dawn we have all been longing for. The time has come!” The first task Alexandra assigned me after arriving at our house was to put water to boil in a large pot. I did so, and shortly after, she took an armadillo shell out of her bag. She explained to me that, just as the armadillo moves the plates of its shell when it unrolls from its protective position to open up to the world, Paula's bones and muscles were opening to receive Luciana. The essence of the armadillo shell would be the base for the most important medicine Paula would receive at the appropriate moment of the birth.

Shortly after, Andrea handed me a wand of chusque, or páramo bamboo, and told me to take a knife and carve serrated teeth on one side of the wand. This would be the tool I would later use to cut the umbilical cord and thereby consecrate Luciana as an independent Being, but forever united to us by the invisible bond of love.

Fifth account: “The sweet wait... The Divine Mother granted you two the grace of a moment of rest, of stillness. Your hearts receive the opportunity to recover strength for the decisive part of this beautiful reunion. After hard transitional work in which your mommy has shown enormous fortitude, immense courage in the face of physical pain and the swings of the mind, a moment of silence arrives. The wisdom keepers and the beings who love you also have the chance to rest, and we can already feel your presence; your house is filled with the smoke of copal incense and tobacco offerings, but also with words of wisdom and notes of conscious music. We all know we are getting ready for the final stretch, which is really the beginning of your new story.”

The sun was already shining on that clear Friday morning and fortunately the contractions had granted a truce of a couple of hours in which Paula could rest. I dozed off from time to time while chatting with Alexandra and Andrea until the doorbell rang. I picked up the intercom and joyfully heard the voice of Mara, our shaman teacher, who had postponed commitments and adjusted her schedule to dedicate the day to accompanying Luciana's birth. She would be her spiritual granddaughter, and for the first time she would have the chance to witness a birth. Mara arrived, as always, to make herself available to help, not only with prayers and songs but also helping with household chores, giving Paula relaxing massages, taking out the trash, in short, whatever was needed to ease everyone else's tasks.

Betty, Paula's mom, who was with us, and Ana María, my daughter, had also gotten up, but they had gone to my parents' apartment, which was in the same building, so that the midwives could do their work better and we could focus on the birth. The day passed slowly and although sometimes the contractions intensified and the start of the final phase of labor seemed imminent, the signs that midwives recognize in the mother's body did not appear in Paula. It was as if Luciana were giving Alejandra time to make it in time to receive her...

Sixth account: It is almost 5 in the afternoon and, to everyone's joy, your midwife Alejandra has just arrived after having to abruptly interrupt a trip out of the city, only to come and receive you! Your mommy and you have been in labor for almost 18 hours, and we still don't know how much longer it will take to have you with us.

Mom has decided to stay in your parents' room and surely that is where you will see the light for the first time. Her effort is great and her body is beginning to show the fatigue of so many hours bearing pain and uncertainty. However, she is strong and we all know everything is going to turn out very well.

We joked that what Luciana wanted was for Alejandra to receive her, and Paula's joy when she learned Alejandra had arrived could only be understood if one saw her happiness in the middle of a strong contraction. Our midwives embraced, and when I saw those four wise warrior women, I felt we were the luckiest parents in the world. We could not have asked for better company even if we had wished for it. Our plan was to have one midwife and one doula, and circumstances — or the Divine — had granted us three midwives and one shaman: Alejandra, Alexandra, Andrea and Mara; even their names seemed deliberately chosen.

The sounds of the drum mixed with moans of pain, words of encouragement and puffs of liquor with herbs formed a strange and hypnotic music that accompanied the mystical drama of creation, performed by six women before my eyes. I could recognize the stages of the birth journey that Ramiro Partera had told us about, and in Paula I saw several of the women who, as he had also told us, take over the mother in labor; but it was the last woman, the one who gives birth, the Divine Mother, who moved me to tears and made me kneel in humility as I watched her give birth to my daughter, our little angel. I watched those women singing “Sabemos Parir” by Rosa Saragoza and I knew I was witnessing a power that men will never wield, but that we can appreciate and protect in every woman that life gives us the opportunity to love.

Seventh account: With the night of a new day upon us and fatigue weighing on everyone, but above all much more on your mommy, we notice how her contractions are stronger and stronger. She tells us she is very tired and does not know if she will make it, but we all try to encourage her. Marita puts harmonizing essences on her, and Alejandra, Alexandra and Andrea take care of giving her massages, guidance and support while I simply stay by her side, ready for whatever they need.

I feel the moment is approaching and I stepped out for a moment to ritualize the yagé that Taita Fernando sent us for your birth. By the way, Andrea says that the children of yagé come very protected and that is why the mucus plug that separates you from this world is larger than usual.

We have entered a very elevated moment; we are all in an altered state of consciousness even though only I took yagé, and barely a spoonful. Your mommy's pains grow so strong that her moans turn into crying, and I can do nothing but try to hold back my own tears. Of course they are not tears of sadness or pity but of pure admiration, watching my wife become a mother and be so strong and brave. Even though she is about to complete 22 hours of labor, and was on the verge of fainting a couple of times, she keeps going.

Suddenly your little head appears and we all feel an indescribable joy. Your mommy draws strength beyond the human, from the Divine Mother herself, and in a few minutes, sitting there on a guayacán birthing chair, she pushes and adds her strength to yours to let you out of her body. Then you fall onto a bed of white towels and immediately cry as you spit out the fluid you have taken in your mommy's womb. You enter this new matrix. You leave behind the traveling capsule in which you arrived in this world and begin to write your story. You are a daughter of the Sun, a daughter of the Moon and of Mother Earth, but also a daughter of all the stars and the seas. The Great Spirit sent you from the Cosmos through Yagé, to bring your love to humanity. Here we are to accompany you, to guide you and to learn from you. Welcome to your new world.

4 years ago My favorite episode definitely; I was able to remember the moments of my delivery and feel again how wonderful it was to bring my Juandi into life, who is definitely the best gift that Mother has given me. The power we women have is magical, unique and unrepeatable... Thank you Manuel for sharing such a beautiful moment...

1 Reply manuelr Author Reply to Lucerito 4 years ago Thank you for your company on this beautiful journey! 🤗🤗🤗